The Value of Green Flags and Red Flags

Have you ever heard the expression "green flag" or "red flag"? Perhaps it's shown up in a conversation around a relationship or a trait someone has shown us through their actions or their words. It can even be something we identify within ourselves.

Green flags, much like a green traffic light, is a positive signal. Green flags can be seen as positive attributes or behaviours that signal healthy and positive traits in others or oneself. They show up as healthy behaviour and opportunities for deeper, fulfilling connections, and indicate the presence of important human qualities such as empathy, kindness, honesty, trustworthiness, open-mindedness, resilience, and self-awareness.

Red flags, on the other hand, represent a warning sign by alerting us to danger, highlighting some sort of toxic trait, or signalling to us that it might be time to end a relationship.

Knowing some of these most common red and green flags allows you to be more confident you’re heading in the right direction and take steps to strengthen your sense of self or your relationships:

Green Flags:
1. Active listening: When someone truly listens to you without interrupting or being distracted
2. Empathy: Demonstrating compassion and understanding towards others' feelings
3. Respect for boundaries: Respecting others' personal space, opinions, and boundaries
4. Openness to feedback: Being receptive to constructive criticism and willing to improve
5. Honesty: Being truthful and transparent
6. Reliability: Being dependable and following through on commitments
7. Supportiveness: Offering assistance and being a source of encouragement and support
8. Equality: Treating others as equals
9. Kindness: Showing genuine care and consideration towards others
10. Vulnerability: Being open and willing to share thoughts, emotions, and insecurities

Red Flags:
1. Disrespect for boundaries: Ignoring or violating others' personal space, opinions, or boundaries
2. Dishonesty: Making false statements or being deceptive
3. Lack of accountability: Avoiding responsibility for actions or refusing to apologize when wrong
4. Controlling behaviour: Attempting to manipulate, dictate, or control others
5. Excessive jealousy: Displaying jealous behaviour towards others
6. Lack of empathy: Being unable or unwilling to understand or relate to others' emotions
7. Inconsistent behaviour: Constantly changing moods without valid reasons
8. Inability to apologize: Refusing to acknowledge mistakes
9. Dismissive attitude: Frequently belittling or disregarding others' opinions, feelings, or accomplishments
10. Lack of self-awareness: Having little or no ability to reflect on one's own behaviour, impact on others, or personal growth

Both green flags and red flags carry value in helping us develop personal growth, enhance our personal sense of well-being, and build thriving relationships with ourselves and others.
~Kate