addressing destination addiction

Have you heard of the term destination addiction? Destination addiction is the belief that happiness lies in the next place, job, relationship, experience, or achievement. It’s constantly striving instead of enjoying the process, journey or present moment. It’s the feeling that “I’ll be happy when...” It’s chasing future outcomes with the belief that when they’re met or achieved they’ll bring fulfillment, joy and happiness. This mindset can keep you from fully enjoying the present and often leads to chronic dissatisfaction, even after reaching goals.

Signs of destination addiction include:

• Constantly focusing on future goals at the expense of the present

• Feeling restless or dissatisfied even after achieving something

• Believing happiness is tied to success or external circumstances

• Difficulty slowing down or feeling content with what you have or in the present moment

If any of this sounds familiar or resonates with you, here are some techniques to address it:

1. Practice Mindfulness: Engage in daily mindfulness practices such as meditation, deep breathing (4-7-8), or simply paying attention to your senses. Try mindful activities like an awe walk where you observe and listen to your present surroundings.

2. Challenge Your Thoughts: Catch yourself when you think, “I’ll be happy when...” and ask: “Why not now?”Replace outcome-based thinking (extrinsic motivators) with value-based goals (intrinsic motivators) which are things that matter regardless of the end result.

3. Practice Gratitude: Acknowledge and appreciate everyday moments, however small. Keep a gratitude journal to help recognize glimmers throughout your day that made you smile or brought you a moment of joy.

4. Redefine Success: Shift focus from external achievements to internal growth. Ask yourself: “What does a fulfilling life look like to me, not just a successtul one?”

5.) Therapy Can Help: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can be especially helpful in uncovering deeper fears driving this mindset (this could include a fear of failure, lack of self-worth, perfectionism…).

Here's a simple daily mindfulness routine and a few journal prompts to help you shift from destination addiction to present-moment living:

Daily Mindfulness Routine:

In a comfortable seated position (or standing) inhale slowly through your nose for 4 seconds, hold for 7, and exhale for 8. Do this 3 times, focusing on your breath, a mantra/affirmation, or some sort of anchor (in could be a polished rock in your hand, for example). Now, check in with yourself by asking: What can I see, hear, smell, feel right now? What emotion(s) am I feeling? Can I allow it to be here without judgement? Shift your attention by silently listing 3 things you're grateful for right now. After you’ve listed your three glimmers say to yourself aloud, “I am grateful for this moment”. To complete your mindfulness practice, choose one activity to do today with full presence. This could be brushing your teeth, walking your dog, making coffee…). Notice every detail of this activity and engage your senses. Avoid multitasking or rushing.

Journal Prompts:

1.   What am I rushing today, and why?

2.   What would it look like to slow down and enjoy where I am today?

3.   When in the past have I felt most present and joyful? What contributed to that feeling?

4.   If I knew happiness wasn't in the future, how would I live differently today?

In the words of Ferris Bueller: “Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” Keep in mind that even 1% growth a day is still growth - avoid rushing and enjoy the process of getting to your goals (and remember to stop and look around once in a while).

~Kate